Of Storm Clouds and Rainbows

A Rainbow Baby is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.
-Stephanie


I don't often feel comfortable using the term "rainbow baby" out loud for the baby moving, kicking, and hiccuping in my belly. That term has long been reserved for the women who have endured miscarriages and infant loss at birth, something I have not experienced. Many of those women do not think that our losses are comparable to theirs and since I have never experienced the loss of a child growing in my body, I cannot disagree with them. I only know the pain of losing babies that grew in my heart - that is my experience. But I often quietly whisper to Rhett that he is my  "rainbow baby". He is my promise after the storm, my light after so much pain and suffering, my joy cometh. I really wanted to buy something to represent that rainbow baby-ness but I did not want to take something from those who have suffered miscarriages and infant loss. And then I saw this baby sling, and I cried.

See, it is a rainbow, but a different kind of rainbow. It isn't the typical ROYGBIV rainbow, it is different. What I see in these colors it is my experience. My loss is not the same as the women who have suffered miscarriage and infant loss, just as their loss is not mine. And maybe, in a sense, my rainbow baby is not quite the same, but he is still my "joy cometh in the morning" (Psalm 30:5), and I need a little reminder sometimes.

So maybe one day I will get the nerve to buy this sling and wear my precious baby in it. Some people will see it as just a pretty sling, others may think it is some subtle gay pride thing, but I will know and will whisper to Rhett, "you are MY rainbow baby". Now don't pee on me. 

Here is the link if you want to see more pictures. Also, I love this shop, so many beautiful wraps!

https://www.etsy.com/listing/227345200/wrap-conversion-ring-sling-baby-carrier?ref=shop_home_active_2